I'm No Longer A Father

This morning I got up all happy and jolly. A new coating of snow was on the ground, fresh coffee was brewing, and then "whack" I read in the newspaper that I am no longer a dad.

I went to bed last night the father of three grown daughters and woke up this morning learning that I am no longer a father according to the US government: I am either "parent 1 or parent 2.

This is due to the fact that the State Department has decided to make passports gender neutral by changing the words mother and father to parent one or parent two.

Now I'm sitting here this morning, shaking because I'm afraid one of my daughters is going to call, and I won't know how to answer: Do I say " Hi this is parent 1," or "Hi this is parent 2?"

You see my wife is out of town, and we have not been able to discuss our ranking in this parent 1 or parent 2 situation. If she demands the parent 1 designation does that make me a lesser partner? And if I take it, will she feel that fifty years of progress in women's rights has just been thrown out the window?

The state department designations, by indicating a numerical order, imply that one came before the other, and for the life of me I can't remember which one of us came first during each of those three encounters.

Now I don't mind being a parent, but I always sort of like to be called dad.

I'm going to miss that.